Friday, June 24, 2011

Happy Birthday Alex! THIRTEEN!

So... my oldest daughter, my first beautiful baby girl... just turned 13 on June 4th.
Oh, my heart.
Alex is an AMAZING kid.  She really is.  She is creative, talented, smart, clever, responsible, mature, kind...
You just can't find a better kid.  Really.
She's a lot like me, better behaved than I was as a kid, and far move clever, but an artist at heart just like I am.  She could care less about school, although she does well when she applies herself.  She just wants to be creating.  ALL the time.
She and I are SUPER close.  We talk, and we spend time together.  Not as much as we should lately because I've been swamped with business stuff.  But the beautiful girl.. she's so patient with me, supportive, understanding.
If you aren't getting it...
I LOVE this kid.
She really does have blue hair.  *nods head*

So...  I was SUPER proud, and excited for her to be turning 13!  A teenager!!!  She's had the maturity of one for awhile, but finally.. here was the number!  THIRTEEN!
So I went to Walmart in the middle of the night to do some birthday shopping for her.  And I was so excited.  I found several things that I just KNEW she'd love.  
I'm walking around the store, so happy, smile on my face, imagining the look on her face when she opens her gifts.
And then I get the bright idea to give her some cash as one of her gifts, so that she can have some fun shopping and be able to pick out whatever she wants.
I gotta get a card!  Something to put the cash in!
So I made the big mistake of spending some time in the card aisle at Walmart.

So I start reading through the cards.. and really enjoy some of the funny ones, and the cards that play music when you open them.
But then I got into the sentimental cards.
You know those cards that are written to make you cry?
Those cards.
And suddenly it hit me.

Officially.. she is no longer a "kid" anymore.  No longer my baby, no longer my precious little girl, but a young woman.
It hit me like a ton of bricks, and suddenly gut wrenching, soul ripping pain shot through me.
I stood in the aisle and sobbed.

People walked past me, they stared.  But all I could do was stand there and cry and cry over the cards, while I had memories of Alex the day she was born, her first steps, her first words (She called her pacifier a FOh -Foh.  Isn't that SWEET?) , her first day of school, her first haircut, her sweet baby breath, and huge baby eyes...  It just KILLED me.

So I finally managed to pull myself together enough to leave the store, and then sat in my car and cried some more.  I got home, cried some more.

And I started these picures the next day.  Unfortunately, everytime I worked on the pictures, I cried.  The two times I started this blog, I cried.  And okay... we're now weeks past her birthday, and still... I"m writing this blog..
and crying.

Alex, my beautiful girl, I am SOOO proud of you!  I wouldn't change a thing about you.  I loved you before I knew you.  And I will love you more each day of my life.  I am so blessed to be your mother.
Sometimes I wish you'd slow down.. that each precious phase would last just a little bit longer.  But honey.. I am LOVING watching you grow.
I love you.

P.S.  And yes, I did manage to grab a card, and yes, she did get her birthday money, LOL. :)

1 comment:

  1. made me cry
    watching our children grow is so bittersweet